All The News That's Fit to Twist: Twisting Words Since 325CE.
Commentary on Today's Commentaries
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Even the the wisdom of heresy has it's own specific tune and melody unique to the wisdom of heresy.~Rabbi Nachman of Breslov
"Many other churches now encourage texting, Twitter and iPhone interaction with the pastor during their services."
By
BRETT MCCRACKEN
(Please see Corrections & Amplifications item below.)
'How can we stop the oil gusher?" may have been the question of the summer for most Americans. Yet for many evangelical pastors and leaders, the leaking well is nothing compared to the threat posed by an ongoing gusher of a different sort: Young people pouring out of their churches, never to return.
As a 27-year-old evangelical myself, I understand the concern. My peers, many of whom grew up in the church, are losing interest in the Christian establishment.
Recent statistics have shown an increasing exodus of young people from churches, especially after they leave home and live on their own. In a 2007 study, Lifeway Research determined that 70% of young Protestant adults between 18-22 stop attending church regularly.
Statistics like these have created something of a mania in recent years, as baby-boomer evangelical leaders frantically assess what they have done wrong (why didn't megachurches work to attract youth in the long term?) and scramble to figure out a plan to keep young members engaged in the life of the church.
Increasingly, the "plan" has taken the form of a total image overhaul, where efforts are made to rebrand Christianity as hip, countercultural, relevant. As a result, in the early 2000s, we got something called "the emerging church"—a sort of postmodern stab at an evangelical reform movement. Perhaps because it was too "let's rethink everything" radical, it fizzled quickly. But the impulse behind it—to rehabilitate Christianity's image and make it "cool"—remains.
There are various ways that churches attempt to be cool. For some, it means trying to seem more culturally savvy. The pastor quotes Stephen Colbert or references Lady Gaga during his sermon, or a church sponsors a screening of the R-rated "No Country For Old Men." For others, the emphasis is on looking cool, perhaps by giving the pastor a metrosexual makeover, with skinny jeans and an $80 haircut, or by insisting on trendy eco-friendly paper and helvetica-only fonts on all printed materials. Then there is the option of holding a worship service in a bar or nightclub (as is the case for L.A.'s Mosaic church, whose downtown location meets at a nightspot called Club Mayan).
"Wannabe cool" Christianity also manifests itself as an obsession with being on the technological cutting edge. Churches like Central Christian in Las Vegas and Liquid Church in New Brunswick, N.J., for example, have online church services where people can have a worship experience at an "iCampus." Many other churches now encourage texting, Twitter and iPhone interaction with the pastor during their services.
But one of the most popular—and arguably most unseemly—methods of making Christianity hip is to make it shocking. What better way to appeal to younger generations than to push the envelope and go where no fundamentalist has gone before?
Sex is a popular shock tactic. Evangelical-authored books like "Sex God" (by Rob Bell) and "Real Sex" (by Lauren Winner) are par for the course these days. At the same time, many churches are finding creative ways to use sex-themed marketing gimmicks to lure people into church.
Oak Leaf Church in Cartersville, Georgia, created a website called yourgreatsexlife.com to pique the interest of young seekers. Flamingo Road Church in Florida created an online, anonymous confessional (IveScrewedUp.com), and had a web series called MyNakedPastor.com, which featured a 24/7 webcam showing five weeks in the life of the pastor, Troy Gramling. Then there is Mark Driscoll at Seattle's Mars Hill Church—who posts Q&A videos online, from services where he answers questions from people in church, on topics such as "Biblical Oral Sex" and "Pleasuring Your Spouse."
But are these gimmicks really going to bring young people back to church? Is this what people really come to church for? Maybe sex sermons and indie- rock worship music do help in getting people in the door, and maybe even in winning new converts. But what sort of Christianity are they being converted to?
In his book, "The Courage to Be Protestant," David Wells writes:"The born-again, marketing church has calculated that unless it makes deep, serious cultural adaptations, it will go out of business, especially with the younger generations. What it has not considered carefully enough is that it may well be putting itself out of business with God.
"And the further irony," he adds, "is that the younger generations who are less impressed by whiz-bang technology, who often see through what is slick and glitzy, and who have been on the receiving end of enough marketing to nauseate them, are as likely to walk away from these oh-so-relevant churches as to walk into them."
If the evangelical Christian leadership thinks that "cool Christianity" is a sustainable path forward, they are severely mistaken. As a twentysomething, I can say with confidence that when it comes to church, we don't want cool as much as we want real.
If we are interested in Christianity in any sort of serious way, it is not because it's easy or trendy or popular. It's because Jesus himself is appealing, and what he says rings true. It's because the world we inhabit is utterly phony, ephemeral, narcissistic, image-obsessed and sex-drenched—and we want an alternative. It's not because we want more of the same.
Corrections & Amplifications
Pastor Mark Driscoll at Seattle's Mars Hill Church has talked about sexual topics in church services but says he has not delivered sermons with sex-themed titles. An earlier version of this column mistakenly used the word sermon.
Jerry, it's L.A.! Nobody leaves. She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a whore!
High Priest of Sin
"Augustine's primary spiritual task was to remove the stain of sexual desire. He thus became the great theologian of guilt and sin but, as is often the case, he remained blind to the price that others had to pay for his righteousness."
– Bishop J. S. Spong (Born of a Woman, p216)
SAY WHAT ...?! MISS USA GETS 'PRETTY' IDIOTIC
By Meg Swertlow
Oh my god, I love stupid people – especially when they are pretty. Mocking them is just so much more fun that way. Last night during the Miss USA contest, Judge Marilu Henner asked top five finalist Miss Ohio Audrey Bolte: “Do you think women are depicted in movies and on television in an accurate and positive way? And please give us an example.” And this is what happened: Miss Ohio gave a look of panic, said some uncomfortably vague stuff, and then gave the most devastatingly amazing answer in the history of pageants – she cited Julia Roberts’ character in Pretty Woman as a positive portrayal of women in film. ‘Cause who doesn’t love a hooker with a heart of gold?!
Audrey said, "I think it depends on the movie. I think there are some movies that depict women in a very positive role, and then some movies that put them in a little bit more of negative role. But by the end of the movie, they show that woman power that I know we all have. Such as, the moviePretty Woman. We had a wonderful, beautiful woman, Julia Roberts, and she was having a rough time, but, you know what, she came out on top and she didn’t let anybody stand in her path."
You can practically hear her bevy of hyped-up pageant coaches screaming backstage, “NOOOO! HOW COULD YOU SAY PRETTY WOMAN!? SOMEONE SHUT HER UP!”
This is just too amazing; I can’t even make this sh*t up. Hey Ohio, remember -- JULIA ROBERTS WAS A PROSTITUTE IN PRETTY WOMAN?! A PROSTITUTE! Maybe Miss Ohio forgot that the movie is about a woman who trawls Hollywood Blvd. looking to have sex with strange men for money, and whose only way out of that hard life is by meeting a cold-hearted rich man whom she eventually f*cks into submission, and becomes his kept woman. Yeah, if that isn’t an accurate and positive account of women – I don’t know what is.
While I can’t imagine the pressure of being in the Miss USA pageant – she did choose and train to be in this event. Miss Ohio really should have been better prepared for a question like that – it’s not like she got asked to solve global warming onstage. There are a plethora of current TV shows or films she could have cited that have positive female characters: The Closer, Rizzoli & Isles, Bones, The Hunger Games, even The Avengers has strong women who aren't hookers! And if she just had to mention her home girl, Julia Roberts, why not Erin Brockovich?! Jesus Christ – almost anything would have been better than referencing a film from 1990 about a prostitute!
Oh Miss Ohio, did the Preparation H seep from under your cheeks, into your eyes and cause brain paralysis? Did you swallow too much teeth whitener and it worked its way up and fried your reasoning skills? Did you tease your hair so hard that your intelligence fell out? Did you inadvertently drink Aquanet and your brain melted inside your skull? I hope all of the above – because those are the only excuses for referencing Pretty Woman.
Every one of these pageants has some sort of train-wreck moment – In 2007, Miss South Carolina melted minds with her "The Iraq" answer at Miss Teen USA. At the 2009 Miss USA pageant, Carrie Prejean shocked audiences with her conservative opinions on gay marriage. For a while, I thought this year’s Miss USA’s bonehead-moment happened when Arsenio Hall asked Miss Nevada why the majority of the contestants who appeared as guests on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live couldn’t name the vice president – and she answered that the contestants were tired because it was late (Hey babe, even at midnight I know who the country's vice president is) as she stalled for a minute, obviously trying to think of the vice president’s name -- and when finally pressed on if she knew it herself, she sheepishly said “Biden.” Yeah, that was pretty great. But that was nothing to when Miss Ohio upped the stupid ante – and made watching stereotypically beautiful girls with store-bought boobs, prance around onstage, a lot more fun.
So, thanks Miss USA contestants for being dum dums and making me feel better about my quirky-but-smart self.
Contrary to popular liberal belief, promiscuity and deviance are not modern cultural creations but have their roots much deeper in human history. Take this quiz to see how Larry Flynt's magazines don't hold a candle to the Lord's original work!
Contrary to popular liberal belief, promiscuity and deviance are not modern cultural creations but have their roots much deeper in human history. Take this quiz to see how Larry Flynt's magazines don't hold a candle to the Lord's original work!
The UK
Anglican Church earned £4.4
billion in
1999 (Daily Telegraph).
The
Mormons (The
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), seventh largest US
church, in 1997 possessed a minimum of $30
billion in
assets and had an annual gross income of $6
billion(Time,
July, 1997).
Between
1985 - 1998 the Mormon church spent $162.5 m on various humanitarian
aid projects – around 0.21% of
the Church's reported non-taxed annual revenue!! Christian charity,
eh?!
The
earnings and wealth of the Roman
Catholic Church are
notoriously difficult to estimate. A single sale of bank shares in
1971 netted the Vatican Bank $115
billion (at
1984 values). (David Yallop, In God's Name, p143)
Accumulated
wealth of Christendom would be measured in thousands
of $billions –
most of it thoroughly hidden from public scrutiny. In
comparison, the Mafia is a local pick-pocket.
Catholic
Crime Syndicate – 'Purgatory
Inc.'
'As
the penny in the coffer rings, the soul from Purgatory springs.' The
weak and gullible were fleeced by papal agents – such as Dominican
friar Tetzel – who sold papal releases for dead loved ones
'suffering the cleansing fire'. 16th
century woodcut Jan Breu the Elder
SIN
God's
Work?
The
Wages of Sin – A
Very Wealthy Church
"The money from
the guilt offerings and sin offerings was not brought into the temple
of the LORD ; it
belonged to the priests."
– 2
Kings 12.16.
After
deliberating on sin at synods in Rome and Carthage (251/252 AD), the
Church decided that no one could avoid venial sin,
and therefore all needed the intercession of the Church. But it also
ruled that "all sins were forgivable with sufficient
penance."
“Blessed
are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are
covered."
– Romans
4.7
Here,
potentially, was a vast business in forgiveness– But who had
the right to absolve sin? Certain
sharp clerics saw the opportunity and declared themselves to
be "Confessors". Filled, as they said, with the
Holy Spirit, they claimed the right to absolve sins (particularly the
sin of apostatising during the Decian persecution) – and just as
surely availed themselves of recompense for their efforts. The
appearance of this rash of competitive charlatans set alarm bells
ringing among the bishops who responded by declaring
their own exclusive right to forgive sin. The lucrative
sin business was being parceled out among the operatives. Towards
the end of the 4th century Augustine made clear that it was only the
Catholic hierarchy that could forgive sin:
"Since
the days of Adam, all have sinned; only a few with 'God's
Grace' can rescue sinners."
– On
Predestination.
Augustine
waged a brutal campaign against the followers of Pelagius, a monk who
had the temerity to believe that man hadan innate ability to live
by God's commands and could thereby avoid sin.
In
the late 6th century, Pope Gregory, an enthusiastic follower of
Augustine, codified sins into seven types, folding "vainglory"
into pride, "acedia" into sadness, and adding envy. His
ranking, from most serious to least was: pride, envy, anger, sadness,
avarice, gluttony, and lust. In the 17th century, the Church replaced
the vague sin of "sadness" with sloth. The
list of sin crimes set the stage for centuries of ecclesiastical
extortion: the sale of remissions from sin! The
Church had devised the most successful protection racket in history.
God
gave the savior to the German people. We have faith, deep and
unshakeable faith, that he [Hitler] was sent to us by God to save
Germany." --Hermann Goering, from Louis L. Snyder,
"Hitler's Elite, Shocking Profiles of the Reich's Most Notorious
Henchmen", Berkley Books, 1990
"How
shall we tie down this wild beast? How shall we put a bridle on it? I
know none, save only the restraint of hell fire." Saint
John Chrysostom rages at sex
"To
assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to
claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin." -
--Cardinal
Bellarmine, 1615, during the trial of Galileo
Fast
forward to the 21st
Century
[Planned Parenthood] is teaching
kids to fornicate, teaching people to have adultery, every kind of
bestiality, homosexuality, lesbianism -- everything that the Bible
condemns.
-- Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program,
April 9, 1991
The feminist agenda is not about equal
rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political
movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their
children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become
lesbians.
-- Pat Robertson, fund raising letter, 1992
Just
like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now
doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the
same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic
Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to
destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the
worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More
terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.
--
Pat Robertson, interview with Molly Ivins, 1993.
Little
history lesson for Pat Robertson:
Christian
Persecution in the modern USA.Little
history lesson - since 323 AD it's been the Christians doing the
persecuting. Being told to mind your own business is not persecution.
Being persecuted is not having someone roll their eyes at you for
wearing a big crucifix around your neck - it's being required to wear
it so that the government knows who you are and can find you anytime
it decides to get rid of you. Get over the martyrdom, and stop pining
for a world where nobody can question your right to tell them what to
do.
Pimping
Priests
Common venial
sins could be remitted by prayer, confession to the clergy,
contrition, fervent communion, and other 'pious works', all of which
required frequent attendance at Church and appropriate service or
recompense to the officiating clergy. Having
transformed even a Christian marriage bed into "whoredom"
the Church could extract its penance for every act of copulation that
involved "lust". Clerical abuse of the institution of
"confession", originally made at the feet of the priest,
obliged the Church to introduce the confessional box for
decency's sake. The
saintly Augustine had also provided the dubious theology
of purgatory, a holding pen where even compliant
Christians would find themselves after death, a place where 'fire
might wash them free of sin'. Picking up the message, said Pope
Gregory:
"As
for certain lesser faults, we must believe that before the final
judgement, there is a purifying fire (purgatorius ignis) ..."
–
Dialogia !V, xli.3.
The
popes were subsequently to generate a vast income by selling
indulgences which would 'free souls from purgatory'. The
living – filled with anxiety for their deceased relations – could
offer prayer, service and payment to the
Church, so that those in purgatory could move more quickly through
their chastisement! Source:
Exclusive: David Kupelian challenges Pastor Mark Driscoll about his 'obsession'
Warning: The following column contains sexually explicit language.
Being pastor of one of the fastest-growing mega-churches in the country and announcing that, out of the entire transcendent Bible – which holds the secrets to heaven and hell and eternal happiness or eternal darkness – your favorite part is about stripping?
There’s a new form of Christianity sweeping the U.S. Its main focus: sex.
Don’t be surprised. We already have a Christian denomination catering to every other worldview, comfort zone and obsession, so why not sex? As I said in “The Marketing of Evil”:
“No matter what kind of person you are, a form of Christianity has evolved just for you. There’s a politically liberal Christianity and a politically conservative Christianity. There’s an acutely activist Christianity and an utterly apolitical Christianity, a Christianity that holds up a high standard of ethical behavior and service, and a Christianity for which both personal ethics and good works are irrelevant. There’s a raucous, intensely emotional Christianity drenched in high-voltage music, and there’s a quiet, contemplative Christianity. There’s a loving Christianity and a hateful, racist Christianity, a Christianity that honors Jews as God’s chosen people and a Christianity that maligns Jews as Satan’s children.”
So, it was just a matter of time before we got a version of Christianity for people obsessed with sex.
Pastor Mark Driscoll
And while there is a surprising number of preachers, teachers and Christian websites today whose main focus is sex, the most prominent is Mark Driscoll, founding pastor of the wildly popular Seattle mega-church Mars Hill Church. According toMars Hill’s website, Driscoll’s mostly youthful flock has grown from a handful of people in a home Bible study to over 19,000 people meeting across 14 locations in four states.
“One of the world’s most-downloaded and quoted pastors,” says Driscoll’s official bio, “his audience – fans and critics alike – spans the theological and cultural left and right. He was also named one of the ’25 Most Influential Pastors of the Past 25 Years’ by Preaching magazine, and his sermons are consistently No. 1 on iTunes each week for Religion & Spirituality with over 10 million of downloads each year.”
By the way, as runner-up for top mega-church pastor in “The Church of Sex,” I’d nominate Ed Young, senior pastor of Dallas-based Fellowship Church, who recently staged “a 24-hour bed-in with his wife atop his church,” a stunt designed to publicize his just-released New York Times best-seller, “Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy With Your Spouse.”
But back to Driscoll: I have nothing personal against this popular, hip, tough-talking young pastor in blue jeans, and I totally understand the appeal of his blunt, masculine, passionate style – a refreshing respite from all the stuffy, pretentious and cowardly pastors out there.
However, let’s just state the obvious: Mark Driscoll is utterly obsessed with sex.
He tells, for instance, the following story of one female member of his congregation who – and I quote – “brought her husband to Christ” by giving him oral sex, in accord with Driscoll’s specific pastoral advice to her. Here’s how Driscoll, during a Nov. 18, 2007, sermon in Edinburgh, Scotland, described this particular husband’s “conversion”:
She [the wife] says, “I’ve never performed oral sex on my husband. I’ve refused to.” I said, “You need to go home and tell your husband that you’ve met Jesus and you’ve been studying the Bible, and that you’re convicted of a terrible sin in your life. And then you need to drop his trousers, and you need to serve your husband. And when he asks why, say, ‘Because I’m a repentant woman. God has changed my heart and I’m supposed to be a biblical wife.’” She says, “Really?” I said, “Yeah. First Peter 3 says if your husband is an unbeliever to serve him with deeds of kindness.” [Laughter from audience] How many men would agree, that is a deed of kindness. He doesn’t want tracts. Those won’t do anything. What we’re talking about here could really help.
Really, people? Is this what we now stoop to in our efforts to make the magnificent Christian faith – the moral foundation of Western civilization – more appealing to a rudderless, confused and sex-drenched generation? Is this what now passes for pastoral counseling and preaching the Bible? I call it abuse and exploitation. I would even call it blasphemy (“… tell your husband that you’ve met Jesus … And then you need to drop his trousers …”).
Driscoll was “preaching” the Song of Solomon, which he has said repeatedly is his favorite part of the Bible and about which he preaches often. It’s also a major focus of “Real Marriage,” his brand-new No. 1 New York Times best-seller – which is mostly about sex – co-authored with his wife, Grace.
For Driscoll, the Song of Solomon amounts to a soft-porn sex manual, which inspires him to admonish women – those who aspire to be “biblical wives” – to awaken their husbands each morning by sexually servicing them in the same way the aforementioned wife “converted” her husband “to Christ.” (Actually, I’m not really too sure she converted him to a deep Christian faith, but no doubt he was converted into an enthusiastic member of Driscoll’s fast-growing church.)
To his credit, Driscoll condemns fornication, adultery and homosexuality. But for married folks, Driscoll – citing his chief inspiration Solomon, who had 700 wives – promotes sex toys, imaginary sexual role-playing, cybersex, what used to be called “sodomy” (both oral and anal) and wives becoming strippers for their husbands.
In fact, the wives-should-become-strippers teaching is not only in the Bible, gushes the enthusiastic Driscoll, it’s in his favorite part of the Holy Scriptures.
“This is my favorite chapter in the whole Bible!” Driscoll exclaimed during the same 2007 sermon. “I believe in the resurrection of Jesus. It’s great too. But this is an amazing chapter of the Bible: [Song of Solomon] Chapter 6 verse 13. It’s awesome. It’s awesome. … Now, what do you think the dance ofmah haneim is? It’s an ancient strip tease. Stripping is biblical. You’re welcome. [Laughter from audience] It’s biblical.”
I am not a Bible scholar, far from it. But it’s fair to say the Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs) – a short love poem of only eight chapters – is probably the most controversial book in the Bible. It is never quoted in the New Testament. Because of its often erotic language, “ancient Jews and Christians alike rejected its literal interpretation and allegorized it,” explains the editor’s note in my King James Bible: “For the Jews, it referred to God’s dealings with his bride, Israel. The early Christians saw it as representing the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church.” This spiritual interpretation pretty much held sway for the first 19 centuries after Christ.
But in modern times, of course, we like to think we understand such things much better than those ignorant, superstitious, early Christians who knew Jesus and the apostles. Kind of like the way today’s judges see things in the U.S. Constitution – gay marriage, abortion, banishing the Ten Commandments from courthouses – that jurists in all previous generations somehow missed.
In any event, however you interpret the Song of Solomon, it’s undeniable that weird and sometimes disastrous things happen when you base your worldview and ministry on one or two allegorical and controversial scripture passages. I mean, check out this YouTube video of a room full of “Christian worshipers” ecstatically handling multiple poisonous snakes. That’s right, there are some churches, mostly in the Southeastern U.S., that believe handling venomous snakes and drinking poison are an important biblical test and proof of their faith. Why? Because in the Gospel according to Mark, Jesus said: “And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover” (Mark 16:17-18).
Common sense tells us – however we interpret Jesus’ actual meaning – that He didn’t intend for the faithful to “tempt God” by drinking strychnine and strutting around on stage with rattlers and cottonmouths, practices that every year result in one or more deaths being reported from these churches. But to proponents of snake-handling and poison-drinking, “it’s biblical.”
In the same way, common sense tells us God did not create women – including married women – to have to compulsively service the needs of oversexed, insecure, angry, egotistical men at all hours of the day and night. And women definitely shouldn’t be psychologically manipulated by authority figures into believing they are disobeying God, Jesus and the Bible if they don’t become sexual Stepford wives.
Are the students’ parents cool with making their kids a captive audience for Driscoll’s sex-book tour? And what are the decision-makers at Liberty thinking? It’s not as though I’m the first person to point out Driscoll’s weird overemphasis on sex. The Christian blogosphere has long been fired up over Driscoll. The Baptist Press reported that a major Christian radio network, the Bott Radio Network, canceled Driscoll because of his over-sexed sermons. Even a recent Seattle TV news story about a controversy at Mars Hill Church revolves around – you’ll never guess – sex.
Or how about this story Driscoll told during the same sermon from which I’ve been quoting:
We were in a grocery store recently, and my wife and I were holding hands and just, you know, shopping. I said, “Why don’t you walk ahead of me for awhile.” She said, “What for?” I said, “I just want to watch your butt for a while.” She said, “Watch my butt?” I said, “Yeah, I like your butt. I like you and I like walking with you. But I’d like to watch your butt for a while, at least through the vegetable section. I want to watch your butt.” [Laughter] … Let her know.
Supporters of Mark Driscoll (including the decision-makers at Liberty University), it’s time to wake up. This is not normal. Asking your wife to walk ahead of you in public so you can ogle her rear end is not normal. Having mystical visions of parishioners in sex acts is not normal. Counseling female members of your church to bring their husbands to Jesus through sex acts – that’s not normal. Being pastor of one of the fastest-growing mega-churches in the country and announcing that, out of the entire transcendent Bible – which holds the secrets to heaven and hell and eternal happiness or eternal darkness – your favorite part is about stripping?
That’s not normal.
Modesty, moderation, self-denial, humility, patient endurance – remember that old stuff? Those are the spiritual qualities of a Christian, which are consistently extolled throughout the entire New Testament. “For to be carnally minded is death,” warns Paul; “but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:6 KJV). The apostles constantly admonish believers not to get too caught up with “the lusts of the flesh.”
In “real marriage” – that is, a marriage made in heaven between sincere and spiritually seeking men and women – wives actually appreciate a little nobility, patience and self-restraint on the part of their husbands. Without the manly virtue of self-control and even a little self-denial in their relationship, women can feel trapped – like they have no choice but to become seductive sexpots to keep their husband happy. And if perchance this creates conflict within her own conscience – conflict with a part of her that is not so sensuous, but more angelic and childlike and innocent – her husband has no clue what is happening. But she suffers the conflict nevertheless, perhaps dealing with it by pleasing him more and more, in the vain hope it will relieve her conflict. It doesn’t.
Friends, one of life’s great challenges for fallen, broken beings like each of us is that we somehow, through God’s grace, eventually rise above all the various temptations and pulls of “the world” and livesolely unto Him. It would really be nice if our pastors and other spiritual authorities, who claim to represent God, would exemplify and exhort us along this high road – rather than lead us in the opposite direction. source: