Pope Benedict dismisses doomsday theory that world will end on December 21st

"Mayan calendar theory is nonsense" says Pontiff

By PATRICK COUNIHAN, IrishCentral Staff Writer

The Pope has reassured Catholics that the end of the world is not night – and has told them to ignore claims that December 21st will be doomsday.

Pope Benedict XVI used his weekly address from the window of his Vatican apartments to call on Christians not to heed doomsday warnings.

He spoke out on the idea that the ancient Mayan calendar predicts that doomsday is next month, on December 21, 2012.

He referred to extracts from the Bible that speak of ‘the sun and moon going out, the stars falling from the sky’.

The Pope said: “Jesus does not describe the end of the world, and when he uses apocalyptic images, he is not acting the prophet.

“On the contrary, he wants to stop his disciples of every epoch from being curious over dates, forecasts, and wants to give them the key to ... the right road to walk today and tomorrow to enter into the eternal life,”

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that as many as 90,000 people are expected to attend a massive event in Guatemala City on December 21 just in case the world actually does end.

Tour groups are openly promoting doomsday-themed getaways.

source: http://www.irishcentral.com/news/Pope-Benedict-dismisses-doomsday-theory-that-world-will-end-on-December-21st-179934841.html

Demon Problems after December 21st?

I want you to get up from your computer on December 22nd, said Betty Bowers, (please be careful, as sudden shifts in weight by large objects have been known to send certain inexpensive trailer-homes careening into death-inducing cartwheels) and open all your windows so that the demons that so clearly possess you can have somewhere to escape (other than the 2 inch tufts of your burnt-orange sculpted DuPont carpet). Now, return to your computer monitor and, being careful not to obliterate any of my poignant words, lay your left hand on the screen:

Once you have done this, yell at the top of your lungs:

In Jesus name, I cut and burn all ungodly silver cords and lay lines to angels on high to bind you to the fiery pits of an everlasting, gruesome and generally unpleasant Hell! Your Satanic war club and weapons of unholy war I break down, undam, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, Episcopalians, wizards, Satanists, Methodists, sorcerers, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, psychic prayers (1-900 through has-been singers or otherwise), torment, prayer chains, incense and candle burning and other things Catholic, incantations, and everything else being sent my way or anyone who visits my disheveled and unsightly trailer home, and I return it, and the demons to the sender, sevenfold, and I bind it to them by the blood of Jesus!!

Repeat as necessary.

It's like using hair conditioner; one application usually does the trick, but people will notice if you don't do it at all.

One thing to keep in mind when exorcising demons is that they need a place to go once they leave your body. And you don't want them simply under foot, lying around your home. Fortunately demons, open to moving long before it was customary for most people's jobs to require such mobility, will often offer up specific ideas for a new location. Indeed, the Bible tells us of the time demons asked Jesus if they could relocate to some pigs on a lovely hillside. Jesus, being easy going, and a Jew who had no use for pigs anyway, agreed to this suggestion. (Mark 5:12) Of course, this story underscores the importance of not sending demons into anything you wish to keep -- such as a pet or fine porcelain. Once the demons had entered the swine, two thousand of the pigs hurled themselves into the sea and drowned. (Mark 5:13) Sort of makes you wonder why Jesus didn't simply relocate the demons into fish if they were so intent on swimming.

Another word of caution about demons: they are like relatives -- you may feel light hearted when they leave, but your euphoria will be lessened by the specter of their inevitable return. And they have the rather rude habit of bringing along other demon friends without so much as a phone call! Indeed, we are taught:
When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places [a prophesy of Las Vegas], seeking rest; and finding none, he saith, I will return unto my house whence I came out.

And when he cometh, he findeth it swept and garnished.

Then goeth he, and taketh to him seven other spirits more wicked than himself; and they enter in, and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first.

--Luke 11:24-26

Thus, you get rid of one annoying demon and no sooner have you taken a moment to enjoy the peace of nonpossession, you wind up with seven new, even more raucous demons partying in your body! And it is more difficult to evict demons on a bender than noisy tenants in a rent-controlled Boston apartment. So do proceed with caution, dear. And in cases such as yours where the demons have obviously unpacked their knock-off luggage and set up home in your drafty soul, it may take a daily inoculation. I have some more powerful incantations if we need to take things up a notch or two (but these come with a long list of potential side-effects that federal law requires I disclose).

So Close To Jesus, He Say "Wind Beneath My Wings" To Me at my Surprise Birthday Party,

Mrs. Betty Bowers

source: http://www.bettybowers.com/espistle43a.html