How Slutty Can You Be And Still Trick Someone Into Loving You?

Can first date sex EVER lead to long-lasting love? MailOnline's new sex columnist Tracey Cox gives her expert view

By TRACEY COX

Good news for anyone who’s ever opened their eyes to find themselves lying next to someone they met the night before: turns out you haven’t necessarily blown your chances of long-term love by sleeping with someone on the first night.

TRACEY COX sexpert

A new American study of 640 adults in Chicago has unearthed a rather surprising result: couples who slept together on the first night were just as likely to end up happy long-term as couples who put off doing the deed until they became more serious.

Good news for all the not-so-good girls who spend the next day’s ‘walk of shame’ paranoid and panicking that the guy won’t call because he got what he wanted.

Sometimes, you meet someone and it feels so right and so natural, sex just happens. We’re all adults, right? Isn’t it a bit old-school and anti-feminist to wait for sex?

In some ways yes. But I’d still advise postponing it, at least for a little while, simply because once you sleep with someone, there’s no excuse for not doing it again. You’re instantly thrust into a far more intimate space than you were.

Ideally, we’d all date each other (minus sex) until both are reasonably sure you’re compatible, want the same thing out of the relationship and, most importantly, think you might make each other happy. This requires logical thinking and objectivity.

Good sex rather effectively robs us of both instantly. It’s extremely difficult to look at your new partner sensibly and objectively while their tongue is working its way up your thigh.

Psychologists call this ‘lust blindness’. You get so involved with your partner’s body, you forget to look closely at the person inside it. It’s how people end up emotionally involved with people they later find out are bad for them - the ‘I don’t like him but I’m in love with him’ feeling. No one falls in love with a nasty piece of work when they’re thinking straight.

But if you put your brain on hold and get involved with their body, you can stumble out of that glorious, lust-infused haze, rub your eyes and find you’ve made all sorts of promises and commitments to someone who wasn’t worth getting intimate with in the first place.

Reading this on your phone and the horse has already bolted? Another key finding of the study published in the Journal of Social Science Research was that for love to blossom from first-night sex, both people had to be open to the idea of a committed relationship.

So instead of plotting a hasty embarrassed exit, you’re actually better off staying put and snuggling up.

Let them know you want more and you might just find your one-night-stand turns into a long, lovely relationship.

The UK's leading sexpert Tracey Cox today launches her new blog on MailOnline where she will be bringing you the latest news as well as offering advice and answering your questions.

Tracey has an academic background in psychology, has written 14 books on sex, relationships and body language and has hosted many TV shows on these topics across her career to date.