That Pesky Apocalypse
“Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common.” -writings found on Assyrian clay tablets, circa 2800 BC (Book of Facts by Isaac Asimov)
Latter
days? Corruption and degeneration? The frequency and ubiquity of this
theme in the social milieu of modern conservative religion would be
difficult to overstate. Hence my interest at seeing the same
sentiment expressed in the ancient medium of clay writing some 5,000
years ago.
In
my own relatively short stint in corporeal existence, I’ve heard a
constant, rumbling undertone of world-ending, Jesus-coming,
apocalyptic anticipation, with occasional attribution to specific
world events–from Soviet communism, to Y2K, to the invasion of
Iraq, and most recently to the quirky end times predictions of Harold
Camping. [Correction: the judgment day did actually
occur on
May 21, 2011, as predicted by Harold Camping...it was just
invisible.]
Through
oral history, I’ve been told about similar end times panics stirred
by just about any stressful event in United States history: Cold War
tension, the Cuban missile crisis, World War II, and so on. Indeed,
when it comes to cataclysmic destruction and Biblically ending the
world, it seems that the modern mind has a distinct tendency to cry
wolf. And wolf. And wolf. And wolf…
To be
fair, it’s not just the Jesussed among us who fall prey to this
panic of presentism. Myriad scare stories have been floated and
foiled about the eminent, total annihilation of the planet by human
impact on the environment–cooling, warming, or otherwise–with
their own history of bankrupt predictions and subsequent revisions.
I
would love to
understand the human affinity for cataclysm. It seems that each
generation tends to think that they will be that last. I have to
wonder if the human proclivity for apocalyptica is not intrinsically
linked to our deep egoism–to a sense that the planet couldn’t go
on without our presence. And rather than imagining a world that will
continue like clockwork without us, we fall ourselves upon the
martyr’s sword, and project our own personal absorption of the end
of history.
To
date I have not seen any published articles that look specifically at
the human brain’s engagement of apocalyptic rhetoric (although
there are a surprising number of virology articles using the horsemen
of the apocalypse to dramatize their abstracts). Indeed, the only
neuro or psych-related article that I unearthed boasting the keyword
“apocalypse” is a 2011
Berkeley paper in
which psychologists conjecture that the reason why global warming
denial is increasing in the United States is because it threatens
people’s belief that the world is orderly and just. (Um…have the
authors heard of Glenn Beck? Because I’m pretty sure that he is a
walking $32 million-a-year’s worth of evidence that people are not
deterred from buy-in because of their innate belief in an orderly and
good world.) In truth, there are empirical questions that I am
interested to ask regarding the apocalyptic indulgence of the human
psyche–an indulgence that seems unshakably glued to the history of
the human narrative.
A Brief History of the Apocalypse
The early days: 2800 BC - 1700 AD
| ca. 2800 BC | According to Isaac Asimov's Book of Facts (1979), an Assyrian clay tablet dating to approximately 2800 BC was unearthed bearing the words "Our earth is degenerate in these latter days. There are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common." This is one of the earliest examples of the perception of moral decay in society being interpreted as a sign of the imminent end. |
| 634 BC | Apocalyptic thinking gripped many ancient cultures, including the Romans. Early in Rome's history, many Romans feared that the city would be destroyed in the 120th year of its founding. There was a myth that 12 eagles had revealed to Romulus a mystical number representing the lifetime of Rome, and some early Romans hypothesized that each eagle represented 10 years. The Roman calendar was counted from the founding of Rome, 1 AUC (ab urbe condita) being 753 BC. Thus 120 AUC is 634 BC. (Thompson p.19) |
| 389 BC | Some Romans figured that the mystical number revealed to Romulus represented the number of days in a year (the Great Year concept), so they expected Rome to be destroyed around 365 AUC (389 BC). (Thompson p.19) |
| 1st Century | Jesus said, "Verily I say unto you, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom." (Matthew 16:28) This implies that the Second Coming would return within the lifetime of his contemporaries, and indeed the Apostles expected Jesus to return before the passing of their generation. |
| ca. 70 | The Essenes, a sect of Jewish ascetics with apocalyptic beliefs, may have seen the Jewish revolt against the Romans in 66-70 as the final end-time battle. (Source: PBS Frontline special Apocalypse!) |
| 2nd Century | The Montanists believed that Christ would come again within their lifetimes and establish a new Jerusalem at Pepuza, in the land of Phrygia. Montanism was perhaps the first bona fide Christian doomsday cult. It was founded ca. 156 AD by the tongues-speaking prophet Montanus and two followers, Priscilla and Maximilla. Despite the failure of Jesus to return, the cult lasted for several centuries. Tertullian, who once said "I believe it just because it is unbelievable" (a true skeptic if ever there was one!), was perhaps the most renowned Montanist. (Gould p.43-44) |
| 247 | Rome celebrated its thousandth anniversary this year. At the same time, the Roman government dramatically increased its persecution of Christians, so much so that many Christians believed that the End had arrived. (Source: PBS Frontline special Apocalypse!) |
| 365 | Hilary of Poitiers predicted the world would end in 365. (Source: Ontario Consultants on Religious Tolerance) |
| 380 | The Donatists, a North African Christian sect headed by Tyconius, looked forward to the world ending in 380. (Source: American Atheists) |
| Late 4th Century | St. Martin of Tours (ca. 316-397) wrote, "There is no doubt that the Antichrist has already been born. Firmly established already in his early years, he will, after reaching maturity, achieve supreme power." (Abanes p.119) |
| 500 |
|
| Apr 6, 793 | Elipandus, bishop of Toledo, described a brief bout of end-time panic that happened on Easter Eve, 793. According to Elipandus, the Spanish monk Beatus of Liébana prophesied the end of the world that day in the presence a crowd of people. The people, thinking that the world would end that night, became frightened, panicked, and fasted through the night until dawn. Seeing that the world had not ended and feeling hungry, Hordonius, one of the fasters, quipped, "Let's eat and drink, so that if we die at least we'll be fed." (Abanes p. 168-169, Weber p.50) |
| 800 |
|
| 806 | Bishop Gregory of Tours calculated the End occurring between 799 and 806. (Weber p.48) |
| 848 | The prophetess Thiota declared that the world would end this year. (Abanes p.337) |
| Mar 25, 970 | Lotharingian computists foresaw the End on Friday, March 25, 970, when the Annunciation and Good Friday fell on the same day. They believed that it was on this day that Adam was created, Isaac was sacrificed, the Red Sea was parted, Jesus was conceived, and Jesus was crucified. Therefore, it naturally followed that the End must occur on this day! (Source: Center for Millennial Studies) |
| 992 | Bernard of Thuringia calculated that the end would come in 992. (Randi p.236) |
| 995 | The Feast of the Annunciation and Good Friday also coincided in 992, prompting some mystics to conclude that the world would end within 3 years of that date. (Weber p.50-51) |
| 1000 | There are many stories of apocalyptic paranoia around the year 1000. For example, legend has it that a "panic terror" gripped Europe in the years and months before this date. However, scholars disagree on which stories are genuine, whether millennial expectations at this time were any greater than usual, or whether ordinary people were even aware of what year it was. An excellent article on Y1K apocalyptic expectations can be found at the Center for Millennial Studies. (Gould, Schwartz, Randi) |
| 1033 | After Jesus failed to return in 1000, some mystics pushed the date of the End to the thousandth anniversary of the Crucifixion. The writings of the Burgundian monk Radulfus Glaber described a rash of millennial paranoia during the period from 1000-1033. (Kyle p.39, Abanes p.337, McIver #50) |
| 1184 | Various Christian prophets foresaw the Antichrist coming in 1184. (Abanes p.338) |
| Sep 23, 1186 | John of Toledo, after calculating that a planetary alignment would occur in Libra on September 23, 1186 (Julian calendar), circulated a letter (known as the "Letter of Toledo") warning that the world was to going to be destroyed on this date, and that only a few people would survive. (Randi p.236) |
| 1260 | Italian mystic Joachim of Fiore (1135-1202) determined that the Millennium would begin between 1200 and 1260. (Kyle p.48) |
| 1284 | Pope Innocent III expected the Second Coming to take place in 1284, 666 years after the rise of Islam. (Schwartz p.181) |
| 1290 | Followers of Joachim of Fiore (the Joachites) rescheduled the End to 1290 when his 1260 prophecy failed. (McIver #58) |
| 1306 | In 1147 Gerard of Poehlde, believing that Christ's Millennium began when the emperor Constantine came to power, figured that Satan would become unbound at the end of the thousand-year period and destroy the Church. Since Constantine rose to power in 306, the end of the Millennium would be in 1306. (Source: Christian author Richard J. Foster) |
| 1335 | Another Joachite doomsday date. (McIver #58) |
| 1367 | Czech archdeacon Militz of Kromeriz claimed the Antichrist was alive and well and would manifest himself between 1363 and 1367. The End would come between 1365 and 1367. (McIver #67) |
| 1370 | The Millennium would begin in 1368 or 1370, as foreseen by Jean de Roquetaillade, a French ascetic. The Antichrist was to come in 1366. (Weber p.55) |
| 1378 | Arnold of Vilanova, a Joachite, wrote in his work De Tempore Adventu Antichristi that the Antichrist was to come in 1378. (McIver #62) |
| Feb 14, 1420 | Czech Doomsday prophet Martinek Hausha (Martin Huska) of the radical Taborite movement warned that the world would end in February 1420, February 14 at the latest. The Taborites were an offshoot of the Hussite movement of Bohemia. (McIver #71, Shaw p.43) |
| 1496 | The beginning of the Millennium, according to some 15th Century mystics. (Mann p. ix) |
| ca. 1504 | Italian artist Sandro Botticelli wrote a caption in Greek on his painting The Mystical Nativity: "I Sandro painted this picture at the end of the year 1500 in the troubles of Italy in the half time after the time according to the eleventh chapter of St. John in the second woe of the Apocalypse in the loosing of the devil for three and a half years. Then he will be chained in the 12th chapter and we shall see him trodden down as in this picture." Apparently, he thought he was living during the Tribulation, and that the Millennium would begin in three and a half years or so, which is understandable given the fact that he is known to have been a follower of Girolamo Savonarola. (Weber p.60) |
| Feb 1, 1524 | The End would occur by a flood starting in London on February 1 (Julian), according to calculations some London astrologers made the previous June. Around 20,000 people abandoned their homes, and a clergyman stockpiled food and water in a fortress he built. (Sound familiar? It's just like the doomsday cultists and Y2K nuts of today!) As it happened, it didn't even rain in London on that date. (Randi p.236-237) |
| Feb 20, 1524 | A planetary alignment in Pisces was seen as a sign of the Millennium by astrologer Johannes Stoeffler. The world was to be destroyed by a flood on this date (Julian), Pisces being a water sign. (Randi p.236-237) |
| 1525 | The beginning of the Millennium, according to Anabaptist Thomas Müntzer. Thinking that he was living at the "end of all ages," he led an unsuccessful peasants' revolt and was subsequently tortured and executed. (Gould p.48) |
| 1528 | Stoeffler recalculated Doomsday to 1528 after his 1524 prediction failed (Randi p.238) |
| May 27, 1528 | Reformer Hans Hut predicted the end would occur on Pentecost (May 27, Julian calendar). (Weber p.67, Shaw p.44) |
| 1532 | Frederick Nausea (what a name!), a Viennese bishop, was certain that the world would end in 1532 after hearing reports of bizarre occurrences, including bloody crosses appearing in the sky alongside a comet. (Randi p. 238) |
| 1533 | Anabaptist prophet Melchior Hoffman's prediction for the year of Christ's Second Coming, to take place in Strasbourg. He claimed that 144,000 people would be saved, while the rest of the world would be consumed by fire. (Kyle p.59) |
| Oct 19, 1533 | Mathematician Michael Stifel calculated that the Day of Judgement would begin at 8:00am on this day. (McIver #88) |
| Apr 5, 1534 | Jan Matthys predicted that the Apocalypse would take place on Easter Day (April 5, Julian calendar) and only the city of Münster would be spared. (Shaw p.45, Abanes p.338) |
| 1537 | French astrologer Pierre Turrel announced four different possible dates for the end of the world, using four different calculation methods. The dates were 1537, 1544, 1801 and 1814. (Randi p. 239) |
| 1544 | Pierre Turrel's doomsday calculation #2. (Randi p. 239) |
| ca. 1555 | Around the year 1400, the French theologian Pierre d'Ailly wrote that 6845 years of human history had already passed, and the end of the world would be in the 7000th year. His works would later influence the apocalypticthinking of Christopher Columbus. (McIver #72) |
| Jul 22, 1556 | In 1556, a rumor was circulating that the world would end on Magdalene's Day, as recorded by Swiss medical student Felix Platter. (Weber p.68, p.249) |
| Apr 28, 1583 | The Second Coming of Christ would take place at noon, according to astrologer Richard Harvey. This was the date of a conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn, and numerous astrologers in London predicted the world would end then. (Skinner p.27, Weber p.93) |
| 1584 | Cyprian Leowitz, an astrologer, predicted the end would occur in 1584. (Randi p.239, McIver #105) |
| 1588 | The end of the world according to the sage Johann Müller (aka Regiomontanus). (Randi p. 239) |
| 1600 | Martin Luther believed that the End would occur no later than 1600. (Weber p.66) |
| 1603 | Dominican monk Tomasso Campanella wrote that the sun would collide with the Earth in 1603. (Weber p.83) |
| 1623 | Eustachius Poyssel used numerology to pinpoint 1623 as the year of the end of the world. (McIver #125) |
| Feb 1, 1624 | The same astrologers who predicted the deluge of February 1, 1524 recalculated the date to February 1, 1624 after their first prophecy failed. (Randi p.236-237) |
| 1648 | Using the kabbalah, Sabbatai Zevi, a rabbi from Smyrna, Turkey, figured that the Messiah would come in 1648, accompanied by miracles. The Messiah, of course, would be Zevi himself! (Randi p.239, Festinger) |
| 1654 | In 1578, physician Helisaeus Roeslin of Alsace, basing his prediction on a nova that occurred in 1572, foresaw the world ending in 1654 in a blaze of fire. (Randi p.240) |
| 1656 | Believed to be a possible date for the end of the world, 1656 is the number of years between the Creation and the Flood. (Skinner p.27) |
| 1657 | Final apocalyptic battle and the destruction of the Antichrist were to take place between 1655 and 1657, as per the Fifth Monarchy Men, a radical group of English millenarians who attempted to take over Parliament to impose their extremist theocratic agenda on the country. Not unlike the Christian Coalition of modern-day America! (Kyle p.67) |
| 1658 | In his The Book of Prophecies, Christopher Columbus claimed that the world was created in 5343BC, and would last 7000 years. Assuming no year zero, that means the end would come in 1658. Columbus was influenced by Pierre d'Ailly. (McIver #77) |
| 1660 | Joseph Mede, whose writings influenced James Ussher and Isaac Newton, claimed that the Antichrist appeared way back in 456, and the end would come in 1660. (McIver #147) |
| 1666 |
|
| 1673 | Deacon William Aspinwall, a leader of the Fifth Monarchy movement, claimed the Millennium would begin by this year. (Abanes p.209, McIver #174) |
| 1688 | John Napier's doomsday calculation #1, based on the Book of Revelation. Napier was the mathematician who discovered logarithms. (Weber p.92) |
| 1689 | Pierre Jurieu, a Camisard prophet, predicted that Judgement Day would occur in 1689. The Camisards were Huguenots of the Languedoc region of southern France. (Kyle p.70) |
| 1694 |
|
| Fall 1694 | Drawing from theology and astrology, German prophet Johann Jacob Zimmerman determined that the world would end in the fall of 1694. Zimmerman gathered a group of pilgrims and made plans to go to America to welcome Jesus back to Earth. However, he died in February of that year, on the very day of departure. Johannes Kelpius took over leadership of the cult, which was known as Woman in the Wilderness, and they completed their journey to the New World. Fall came and went and, needless to say, the cultists were profoundly disappointed at having traveled all the way across the Atlantic just to be stood up by Jesus. (Cohen p.19-20) |
| 1697 |
|
| 1700 |
|
SO IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
Over the years, a lot of people have predicted the end of the world, and thus far, a lot of people have had egg on their faces. We’re glad they were wrong, because now we get to make fun of them forever. Here are eight of our favorite doomsayers:
1. Billy Graham
Speaking in 1950, a young Billy Graham was quoted as saying “We may have another year, maybe two years. Then I believe it is going to be over.” Later in his career, he revised the date to 1998.
Speaking in 1950, a young Billy Graham was quoted as saying “We may have another year, maybe two years. Then I believe it is going to be over.” Later in his career, he revised the date to 1998.
2. A (supposedly) talking carp
Witnesses (of which there were rather few) say that a mystical twenty-pound carp began shouting in Hebrew at a New York fish market in 2003. Roughly translated, it said “account for yourself, the end is near!”
Witnesses (of which there were rather few) say that a mystical twenty-pound carp began shouting in Hebrew at a New York fish market in 2003. Roughly translated, it said “account for yourself, the end is near!”
3. Watchtower magazine
“Sometime between April 16 and 23, 1957, Armageddon will sweep the world! Millions will perish and in its flames and the land will be scorched.”
“Sometime between April 16 and 23, 1957, Armageddon will sweep the world! Millions will perish and in its flames and the land will be scorched.”
4. Assyrian stone tablet, circa 2800 B.C.
“The world is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer mind their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching.”
“The world is degenerating these days. Bribery and corruption abound. Children no longer mind their parents, every man wants to write a book, and it is evident that the end of the world is fast approaching.”
5. 16th-century German astronomer Johannes Stoeffler
“The world will end with a giant flood on February 20, 1524.”
“The world will end with a giant flood on February 20, 1524.”
6. William Miller, 19th century harbinger of doom
As quoted in the New York Herald: “The world will be destroyed by fire on April 3, 1843.
As quoted in the New York Herald: “The world will be destroyed by fire on April 3, 1843.
7. Archbishop Wulfstan of York, 1014 A.D.
“The world is in haste and is drawing ever closer to its end, and it always happens that the longer it lasts, the worse it becomes. And so it must ever be, for the coming of the Anti-Christ grows ever more evil because of the sins of the people, and then truly it will be grim and terrible widely in the world.”
“The world is in haste and is drawing ever closer to its end, and it always happens that the longer it lasts, the worse it becomes. And so it must ever be, for the coming of the Anti-Christ grows ever more evil because of the sins of the people, and then truly it will be grim and terrible widely in the world.”
8. Self-styled prophet Harold Whisenant
… author of 88 Reasons Why Christ Will Come Back in 1988.
… author of 88 Reasons Why Christ Will Come Back in 1988.
Thanks to Laura Ward, whose book Famous Last Words has a great chapter on failed apocalyptic prophecy.
Read the full text here: Source:
[2] SOURCE;
The 2012 Apocalypse Virgin Hunt
Twistianity Today is looking for 70 virgins for The End of the Age Human Sacrifice Extravaganza
How do I become a 2012 Human Sacrifice® Model?
http://truetwistianity.blogspot.com/2011/12/2012-apocalyptic-human-sacrifice.html
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