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Showing posts with label twist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twist. Show all posts

Saturday, January 7, 2012

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT WOMEN WEARING PANTS?


WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT WOMEN WEARING PANTS?



I was watching TV one sleepless night and stumbled upon an infomercial for some beauty product. The commercial showed before and after portraits, that to my eye, looked like the same photo just photoshopped. I laughed to myself. Then I made this video.




By Josh Spiers: Formerly Apostolic Pentecostal, always Christian


The first thing that we must understand when asking this question is that no one in the Bible wore pants. They did not exist back then—at least not in the form we have them today. Because of this, the Bible never dealt with the subject of women wearing pants. [Note: I have added an article on what the Israelites did wear when they were in Egypt and during the Exodus.] The Mosaic Law does, however, deal with the subject of cross-dressing. The Mosaic Law says, "A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD your God" (Deut. 22:5 NASB). The argument against women wearing pants that I always heard when I was in the UPC was this:
  1. Deut. 22:5 applies to us today. Even though we are not under the Mosaic Law anymore, something that is an abomination to God is always an abomination. (This is based off of Rev. 21:27, which says that "no one who practices abomination" (KJV) will enter into the New Jerusalem.)
  2. Since pants are men’s apparel, and dresses are women’s apparel, it is an abomination for a woman to wear pants or for a man to wear dresses.
Notice that I said that this is the argument that I heard during my time in the UPC. It is only fair to say that the official position paper of the UPC uses a different line of reasoning. They say, "[W]e should avoid…slacks on women because they immodestly reveal the feminine contours of upper leg, thigh, and hip1."
In this article I am going to take a look at both views, and then I’ll wrap up with an important point about hypocrisy.
Edit (1/2/07): I found another position paper from the UPCI on men and women’s apparel. In this other paper they do use a modified form of the Deut. 22:5 argument.


Are Slacks Automatically Immodest?

I think that it is ridiculous to say that slacks are inherently more immodest than dresses. Slacks and dresses can be immodest. It is possible that pants on a woman would have been considered immodest 200 years ago in many Western societies, but that’s pure conjecture. Either way, I know of no man in Western culture who is automatically thrown into temptation because a woman wears pants. What we have to deal with is what is modest today, not what was modest 200 years ago or 2,000 years ago. The Bible never defined modesty, it only told us to be modest.


Are Pants "Men’s Apparel"?

I do not think that pants can be thought of as only men’s apparel in modern Western culture. Cultures and dress codes change over time. They always have. When Deut. 22:5 was written men were probably wearing linen kilts and women were probably wearing "full-length, light weight, loose-fitting dresses2." In the mid-19th century men were wearing breeches and women were wearing dresses that did not show even their ankles. Yet now the dress code laid by the UPC is that women have to wear dresses but they can come up to the knee3. Why did they choose this style of apparel and not the style that was worn when Deut. 22:5 was written, or the style that was worn in the 19th century? The reason is that cultures and styles change, and the UPC apparently picked the style of apparel that happened to be in fashion when their doctrines started to develop.
There is no biblical excuse for taking a girl who is a third-generation wearer of pants and telling her that she has to only wear dresses. At some point we have to admit that culture has changed. Again, we’re concerned with what culture is now, not what it was in the 1800s and early 1900s.



Hypocrisy? --- One of the most serious sins according to the Bible is religious hypocrisy.”

The Pants Issue Can Be One Way or the Other, It Can’t Be Both.


Let me talk to the preachers and teachers for a moment.
Many preachers and teachers in the UPC feel that Deut. 22:5 still applies to us today. I don’t take that view, but I’m not going to debate the point. What I will say is that if you are going to apply Deut. 22:5 to the pants vs. skirts debate then you have to apply it to everything. If you believe that it is an abomination for a woman to wear pants (because you feel that pants are men’s apparel) then you must be willing to make a complete prohibition against women wearing men’s apparel. For instance, many women in the UPC wear pajama pants but they will not wear pants in public. If pants are men’s apparel, and if it’s a sin for women to wear men’s apparel, then that means no pajama pants. It also means that a girl can’t put on her boyfriend’s jacket or her husband’s shirt, or any other article of clothing that is designed for a man.
It can be one way or the other, it can’t be both. It must be a complete prohibition or no prohibition at all. To preach against women wearing pants, and then allow your wife to wear pajama pants, is nothing less than total hypocrisy. If you do preach a complete prohibition against women wearing any men’s apparel then I will respect your view, even though I will continue to disagree with it. If you will not do that then I view your teaching as hypocritical in the extreme.


Conclusion

It is not safe to end this subject without pointing out that cross-dressing is almost definitely displeasing to God. When I say "cross-dressing" this is the usage that I am referring to:
Nearly every society throughout history has had a set of norms, views, guidelines, or laws regarding the wearing of clothing and what is appropriate for each gender. Cross-dressing is a behavior which runs counter to those norms4.

I do think that we can extrapolate from Scripture that God would be displeased with someone deliberately dressing in a manner that identifies them with the opposite gender. However, I do not think that a woman wearing pants should be considered cross-dressing. As I said before, women wearing pants is part of the accepted norm in modern Western culture. SOURCE:
Holy Snow Skiing Apparel 
_________________________________________________________________
Now for the liter side of, "Lets not get carried away being men." -Yechezkel
"It's a joke son..."~Foghorn Leghorn
Women Probably Don't Have Souls!
BIBLE FACT!
Landover Baptist Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards, announced findings related to his research into the female soul early this week. "The absence of either salvation or condemnation for women finds extensive support in the Word of God." He reported. "Jesus said that the sole reason God created women in the first place was to provide company and service to men (1 Corinthians 11:9), God determined that men would be lonely living alone, so he created women purely to keep men company and serve their needs (Genesis 2:18-22). Women are therefore completely subordinate to men (1 Corinthians 11:3). It stands to reason, though, that once men enter the Kingdom of Heaven, they will be one with God, and will no longer be lonely and in need of mortal companionship. Thus, the reason behind having women will no longer exist. Women, like the members of the animal kingdom, will fall by the wayside."

Dr. Edwards went on to say that, "once men reunite with their maker, they will no longer be burdened with the care of women. After all, women were inferior creations from the start. Women are fond of self-indulgence (Isaiah 32:9-11). They are silly and easily led into error (2 Timothy 3:6). They are subtle and deceitful (Proverbs 7:10; Ecclesiastes 7:26). They are zealous in promoting superstition and idolatry (Jeremiah 7:18; Ezekiel 13:17, 23). And they are active in instigating to iniquity (Numbers 31:15-16; 1 Kings 21:25; Nehemiah 13:26). It was the inherent weakness of women that led them to be deceived by Satan (Genesis 3:1-6; 2 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Timothy 2:14). Consequently, women were cursed from the start (Genesis 3:16). There is simply no room in heaven for such flawed and inadequate beings."

Pastor Deacon Fred warned the congregation that there was no reason to be alarmed. "Dr. Edwards' Godly and anointed conclusions still need to be formalized by the Board of Deacons," he assured. "I am certain that our team of religious experts will find some way to tippy-toe around these Scriptures."

Some of the women present to hear the report were visibly shaken. A teary eyed Sister Taffy Crockett said through choked sobs, "I've heard of colored women not having souls... but me? NO!  This is outrageous!"

Pastor did have some comforting words for the ladies of Landover. "I personally want to assure all female members of this church that until we examine Dr. Edwards' research to our complete satisfaction, consider yourselves saved until further notice."

We believe that when a person first gets saved, the first thing they should do is buy a suit and a tie. If the individual is a female, then a dress not raised over an inch above the knee is acceptable. Clothing is perhaps the most important thing about being a Christian. If one is not properly clothed and fully representative of what God would want them to appear like... well then, that person is probably not saved. Our motto is "get saved, get to a Christian Clothing store, and get fitted for the kingdom."  A man should dress and act like a man, and a woman should dress and act like a submissive female helpmate. That about sums it up. Anyone who does not conform to the dress code at Landover Baptist will be fined no less than$300.00 a violation. It is a privilege to be a Christian and we believe that it is about time folks started acting like it!  SOURCE:

Thursday, September 22, 2011

A full investigation into the lewd cartoon character, Sponge Bob, Square Pants




Pastor Exposes Perverted Little Cartoon Character


Pastor Exposes Perverted Little Cartoon Character

WARNING! CHRISTIAN CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18 SHOULD NOT MOVE THEIR MOUSE OVER THE IMAGE BELOW UNLESS THEY ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF AN ORDAINED MINISTER!

Freehold, Iowa - (October 2011) Complete shock filled the Landover Baptist main sanctuary last Sunday as Pastor Deacon Fred revealed in graphic detail, decadent hidden sexual messages in the popular cartoon series, Sponge Bob, Square Pants™. Mrs. Ida Denkins, who was seated in the first pew, fainted in the middle of the presentation and had to be rushed to Landover Baptist Hospital. Church usher, Bob Halburg, had an immediate reaction to the slide show that went straight to his stomach. He vomited so forcefully that pieces of his steaming breakfast were sprayed across nearly 15 pews. All total, at least two-dozen church members became physically ill after being exposed to the disgusting garbage that Hollywood is pumping into our children’s heads.

“I found out about this disgusting little yellow cartoon character, quite by accident,” said Pastor Deacon Fred. “I was laying on the couch with my grandson, and must have fallen asleep, so he was unmonitored in front of the television set. When I woke up, my head had leaned back over the side of the couch. My neck was craned in such a way that I was looking at the television set upside down. I reacted immediately to what I saw there, and was able to flip over and grab my grandson by his hair and fling him across the room, thankfully, knocking him unconscious long enough for me to get to the remote control and switch back to Fox news, where they were showing Godly footage of our Christian troops blowing up ignorant Arabiacs. I have no idea how much mental damage my grandson suffered while he was exposed to that cartoon show while I was asleep, but I’ll tell you what, I won’t hesitate to sue the bastards that put this junk on TV if we find out anything happened to my grandson!”

Pastor explained to the congregation that he ordered a team of Creation Scientists, led by Dr. Jonathan Edwards, to spare no expense on opening up a full investigation into the lewd cartoon character, Sponge Bob, Square Pants™. “I ordered our Christian team not to stop their investigation until they pulled out every single lewd, disgusting, sexual reference in the cartoon,” said Pastor.

The two-hour slide presentation seen on Sunday morning was the result of an investigation that lasted nearly six months. The full findings of that investigation cannot be revealed on this public web site, since there is currently a pending lawsuit between the Landover Baptist Church and the Nickelodeon Channel. We can however, say that most of what we found is too shocking for words. Innocent little Christian children might be reading this article and they should not be exposed to the decadent smut of Sponge Bob, Square Pants™, anymore than they already have been.

“From what we’ve found,” says Dr. Edwards, “is that we have what appears to be a little yellow sponge who talks like a pervert. When you turn it upside down, there are two unmistakable testicles and a semi-erect penis hanging from its face. Thank Jesus that children are not watching this program standing on their heads, or we’d all be in trouble.” Dr. Edwards also revealed that the entire cartoon series has houses, plants, animals, and demon-like creatures (most of which are shaped like sex organs) floating around, talking nonsense. “One purple penis shaped creature even moans and giggles uncontrollably whenever he sees one of his ‘pals,’ like he is secretly masturbating himself to them.” Click here to listen, if you don’t believe it!

“As True Christians™, what we find most frightening is that for the most part, the majority of sex organs we’ve found in the cartoon, can only be seen upside down,” continued Dr. Edwards. We played several sound tracks for the show backwards as well, and it’s all demon talk.” True Christians™ know that one of Satan’s favorite ways of communicating to his followers is to do things backwards, and upside down. “We know this from our studies of Satanism, but we had no idea that it was being used in the media – especially in children’s cartoons.”

“Is it okay for a person to take off their pants and walk around upside down so that his penis and testicles look like his nose and eyes? NO! So why should we allow a cartoon character to do the same thing while standing right side up? It’s ludicrous!” said Pastor Deacon Fred. “There is no doubt that we need to put a stop to this so-called, Sponge Bob, and his Square Penis. If we don’t, we'll soon be coming home to houses full of children, stripped of their clothes, hand walking around the living room spitting gibberish! We’ve already got our lawyers preparing a lawsuit.”

SOURCE:


Spongebob Detained By Police For Fighting A Girl (Video)
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